How to Say No Without Saying No
It’s Thanksgiving, 2018 and my dad, brother, and I have finally sat down two hours after our reservation was supposed to be (another story for another time). We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. The waitress goes to set down the menus but we already know what we want: a prime rib special, just for Thanksgiving. The two hour wait might just be worth it once we sink our teeth into that succulent prime rib. We tell our server our order before the menus hit the table and I will never forget the look on her face: guilt, shame, bracing for the inevitable backlash from starving holiday guests. “Unfortunately, we’ve run out of the prime rib.”
How She Saved Herself
Luckily for her, my family has all been in the service industry and spared her our rage (though she was at the receiving end of some exasperated sighs). So, what spared her from our rightful indignation at being refused the one thing we were even there for? Her kindness and phrasing. She’s working on Thanksgiving, a day to be with family, not working. There had been a snowstorm the night before into that morning and thousands of people were without power, looking for last-minute dinner options. She had been swamped for hours before we got there and likely an hour or two after we left. Holidays are not fun to work in hospitality, even on the best days, let alone when there are Acts of God that send the masses down on you without warning. So, for her to put on a regretful smile, sincere guilt in her eyes, and to gently let us know that they ran out, was the perfect move. She could have just as easily said “Nope, we’re out” in a flat monotone without looking up from her notepad. But she took the extra second to let us know she felt bad about our misfortune and that there were other options available.
Great Story But What’s the Strategy?
It’s exactly that: be sincere. Don’t just say “No” and wait for the guest to pick something else. Offer sincerity and alternative options. You don’t have the Caesar salad? “Well, the niçoise is very popular and we can add chicken to that for you!” Oh no! The sirloin is 86’d? “We unfortunately do not have the sirloin this evening but our ribeye is fantastic and pairs well with the wine you ordered!” We want to offer solutions, not just denials. The guest should never have to do extra thinking because we dropped the ball.
Does This Work for Everything?
Almost, yes! Some guests you simply cannot please. That’s to be expected and it’s an unfortunate part of the industry. However, by having options ready to go for the inevitable mishap, you can minimize the damage done. The spa the guest wanted doesn’t have availability? We have a third party massage therapist who can do a service right in the comfort of their hotel room! There are no tickets for the 6pm showing at the theater but there are for 8pm? Book a restaurant reservation nearby to the theater so the guests can grab a bite to eat or a drink before the show. This way, you aren’t saying “No, we can’t do that for you”, you’re saying “While your first option isn’t available, I have done all of the work to ensure you get as close to the experience you wanted as possible.”
Why Does This Work?
Because you’re solving problems before they are problems. By immediately offering other alternatives, you are eliminating the opportunity for the guest to get angry and stew in that anger. Sure, they may be disappointed but if you do your job well and ensure the replacement experience goes smoothly, they’ll forget all about the mishap and possibly enjoy the replacement even more!
And this has a 100% success rate?
Nothing has a 100% success rate. But this helps to put the odds more in your favor. Some guests just cannot be satisfied unless they have exactly what they want exactly when they want it exactly as it’s pictured in their head. Oftentimes, we are able to make this happen and there are no issues but we have to be prepared for the times when we can’t, either through our own mistakes or through a series of unfortunate events that we have no control over. And with these types of guests, they more often than not will not hear excuses or reasoning so it’s just up to you to handle that in the moment.
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Vocab Practice:
86’d: kitchen slang for taking something off the menu, usually due to running out of the item or ingredients.
Dropping the ball: an idiom that means to either fail at something or not accomplish a task correctly. In hospitality, it can be forgetting to drop an amenity in the room or booking a reservation at the wrong restaurant. Both are examples of dropping the ball because in both cases the task (placing an amenity and booking a reservation) were not completed correctly.
